jesus = christmas? what?

Advent has been wonderful.
We've had Christmas parties, and we have spent a lot of time with friends.
We haven't spent a lot of money on gifts.
Instead we have spent our money on food - food for our friends and food for some families whom we've never met.
Sorry, American capitalism, Jesus wouldn't have bought your crap either.

Merry Christmas!

life is too short to waste away in fat girl panties

{disclaimer: I over-share. It's who I am.}

Have you ever stepped out of the shower, opened your underwear drawer, reached for the cute panties and then put them back in favor of the granny panties?
More often than not, I do exactly that.
Well, to be completely honest, more often than not, I bypass the cute panties all together and go straight for the granny's.

Some would argue that life is too short to wear the cute {sometimes uncomfortable} panties, and they would rally for the cause of the granny.
But, here's the thing.
It is all about how you feel.
When I wear cute panties {whether husband sees them or not} I feel more confident.
And, when I wear the granny's, while I am extremely comfortable, I just feel dumpy.
Husband finds me attractive no matter what I am wearing, but he has often told me that I am most attractive when I feel good about myself.

It's all about you - all about how you feel in your own skin.
So, if you feel really sexy and confident in your granny's, go ahead. Wear the granny's.
But, for those of us with low self-esteem and a Heidi Klum inferiority complex, we shall parade around knowing that the swagger in our step not only comes from our superficial confidence, but it mainly comes from the "cute" black lace wedged up our hind quarters.
Auf wiedersehen!

are blogs inherently selfish?

I was just rereading my last blog post, and I noticed that the majority of my sentences in the first half of the post begin with the word "I."

I guess that was the point of this blog in the first place.

so, on to life

I love being on break from school.
but, I also love school.
I wish there were a happy medium.
A school where I could take classes, read books, write papers all at my own pace.
I feel like I would probably learn more.
I would be taking the time to let things sink in.
I could chew on things for a while.
I could have meaningful conversations with my professors and fellow students.
I would thrive in a school like that.

I'm not so much thriving in the school I am in now.
I'm actually pretty disappointed with my performance.
I have always been very fortunate in that I have done well in school with very little effort.
But now, I am putting in all of the effort with half of the results.
I am working harder than I ever have, yet I am getting grades much lower than I am used to.

But, I think my head is in the right place.
I am learning a lot.
But, my family has priority over everything else.
Period.
I will not sacrifice my family for anything.
So, in perspective, I am doing the best that I can given my priorities.
I just wish my hard work was reflected in my GPA.

Oh well.
C'est la vie.

In other news, I was so excited to start my Christmas break reading that I chose way too many books to read at once.
I may not finish before school.
Oh, how I loath deadlines.
They will get read in their own time.

Here's my list:
1. My Life by Bill Clinton
2. Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Juila Child, Simone Beck, and Louisette Bertholle
3. On Agate Hill by Lee Smith
4. Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd
And, 5. The Maternal Face of God by Leonardo Boff

Interesting collection, I know.


Here are my thoughts thus far.
Bill Clinton - excellent. I guess I was too young to really pay attention to his speech-writing skills when he was in office. But, in reading his autobiography now, his story leaps off of the page. I am a big fan of southern fiction, and I feel like I am reading a novel set in mid-century Arkansas.
I love it.

Juila Child - I am learning so much. I am one of those people who reads cook books for fun, and this one is definitely fun. I do not have the money {nor the pounds} to spare to experiment in French cooking often, but I love learning technique. Ultimately, I think I will come out as a technically better cook in the end.
Fun.

Lee Smith - Southern fiction. There is nothing better. I have loved her other books, and the first few pages of this one are measuring up to be just as good as the rest. This is the first one of here {that I have read} that is set in North Carolina {the rest have been in the tri-state are of southwestern Virginia}.

Sue Monk Kidd - It is a re-read. I loved it the first time, and I am sure to love it again.

Leonardo Boff - We'll see how it goes. I haven't started yet.

words subject to pms

I hate introductory blog posts.
But, in starting a blog, it is inevitable.
So, here goes.

I have another blog, which I love dearly.
It is where I chronicle my family's daily life.
I record many of the beautiful moments we have as we grow together.
There you will see photos of my beautiful son, and occasionally you will see pictures of my husband and of myself.
Why then, you may ask, if I love my other blog so much would I want to start a new one?

Well, here's the thing.
While I love posting about my family life,
I do not get to express other sides of myself.
I wanted to create a place where I can journal my own musings - however fleeting they may be.
My other blog is for me, but it is also for my family and friends.
This one.
It's for me.
Just me.

So if you do end up reading this one, you must know:
1. My opinions, moods, life goals, etc. are all subject to change at any given moment.
2. You may not hold me to anything I say on here -
{No pledges of diet plans or life-altering career moves. nothing. nada. I am not accountable.}
3. Please take everything I write with a grain of salt.
4. If I am particularly salty one day you may deduce that I am experiencing a bout of pms, but you may not point it out in comments - it will only anger the beast.
5. I reserve the right to be completely shallow. If I want to post pictures of beautiful clothes {which I will probably never own}, then I will. But, I also reserve the right to talk about important causes I stand firmly behind. Feel free to comment, but know that if your comment is nasty or rude, I will delete it. It's my blog. I do what I want.
And, 6. This is for me. I am not writing to represent anyone other than my self, and I am by no means writing to please anyone but myself.

Ultimately, I guess I am writing this blog for the same reason that anyone chooses to record their life and thoughts - it is a creative outlet.
And, it is something that I can read years from now and at which I will laugh, cry, and scream in horror.

Now, on to the fun.